What Jesus Teaches Us About Grief and Holding Space

Grief is a universal human experience—and yet, so often, we don’t know what to do with it.

We may feel pressure to be strong, to “move on,” or to quote a Bible verse when we don’t have words. And while Scripture offers deep comfort, it also makes space for pain, sorrow, and waiting. Jesus Himself didn’t shy away from grief—He entered into it fully.

If you’ve ever wondered how to hold space for your own grief—or someone else’s—Jesus offers us a powerful, gentle example.

Jesus Grieved—Without Rushing Through It

In John 11, when Jesus arrives at the tomb of His friend Lazarus, He finds Mary and Martha mourning. He knows He is about to raise Lazarus from the dead. He knows the end of the story. And yet… Jesus weeps.

“When Jesus saw her weeping… He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled… Jesus wept.” (John 11:33–35)

He doesn’t dismiss their pain. He doesn’t say, “Don’t cry—I’m about to fix it.” He doesn’t offer a quick Scripture or solution.

He pauses. He sees. He enters in.

Jesus shows us that grief is not a lack of faith—it’s an honest expression of love and loss. And sometimes, the most sacred thing we can do is simply sit in the sorrow, without trying to tidy it up.

What Does It Mean to “Hold Space”?

To hold space means to stay present and grounded in the face of another’s pain. It means:

    •    Not rushing them to feel better

    •    Not offering advice or fixing

    •    Not minimising or comparing

    •    Simply being with—without judgement or urgency

Jesus held space with Martha and Mary. He let them ask hard questions. He let them express disappointment:

“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:21)

And He didn’t rebuke them. He responded with compassion, patience, and presence.

Grief Is Not Linear—and Jesus Never Asked It to Be

Sometimes we believe that with enough faith, we should bounce back quickly. But Jesus never asked His followers to suppress or rush their grief.

• In Gethsemane, He grieved deeply, sweating blood under the weight of what was to come.

• On the cross, He cried out in anguish: “My God, why have you forsaken me?”

• After His resurrection, He tenderly met Mary Magdalene in her tears before revealing Himself (John 20).

Grief doesn’t follow a straight path—and Jesus honours that. He meets us in the pain, not just after it.

How We Can Follow Jesus’ Example

Whether you are grieving yourself or walking with someone who is, here are some gentle ways to honour what Jesus models:

1. Be Present, Not Pressured

You don’t need to have the right words. Your quiet presence matters more than perfect answers.

2. Listen Without Rushing to Fix

Let people tell their story. Let them cry, repeat themselves, or sit in silence. That is the ministry.

3. Validate the Pain

Say things like:

    •    “This is so hard. I’m here with you.”

    •    “It’s okay to feel angry, numb, or lost.”

    •    “You don’t have to have it all together.”

4. Make Room for Mystery

Sometimes there are no clear answers. Faith and grief often coexist in the same breath. Hold space for the questions.

5. Point to Hope—Gently

Hope doesn’t erase sorrow. But you can remind others (and yourself) that God draws near to the brokenhearted, and that healing is real—even when it’s slow.

A Final Thought

Grief is sacred. Jesus didn’t shame it, avoid it, or try to explain it away. He entered into it. And He still does.

If you are grieving right now—whether from loss, disappointment, or a season that hasn’t gone the way you hoped—know that Jesus weeps with you. He holds space for your sorrow. And in time, He will also hold space for your healing.

At Sound Mind Counselling and Family Therapies, we create a safe place for people to process grief—at their own pace, in the light of faith, compassion, and emotional honesty. Whether you need space to cry, question, or simply be, you are welcome here.

Book a session today and let’s walk through the valley—together.